Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
