apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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