My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
