Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
