Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize