Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
are you so shy because you have an std?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
