When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize