If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
