happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
