So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
