we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
