I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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