def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
