Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
