I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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