just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I party with great urgency now.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
