I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
