You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
