I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
