ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
