Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
