Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
