I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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