I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
