You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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