i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
