woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
