First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
