And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize