She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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