i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
