He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
