I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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