You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
