i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I will be naked everywhere
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
