I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I still have a little drunk in my system
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
