why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
