remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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