After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
