Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
