Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
only if we run a train.
done.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize