i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
