Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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