I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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