I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
