We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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