spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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