I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
