There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
