i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
