and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Drake has all the answers
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
