I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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