I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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