yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
