theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
