I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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