He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
