im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
