Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
