i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You know, be my cock's hype man.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
