he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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