So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
