his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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