do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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